Here's where I am: I'm thirsty. I'm hungry. I am so passionate about my God right now.I'm desperate. I need Him. I want to be consumed. I want to be filled and poured out and filled again and it's intense.I have never experienced such an intense desire for God like this.It's unquenchable and oh my God, I want to be parched.I want to be thirsty. I want to run this race gasping for more of Him, reaching for Him and desperate.I want to press in and keep going.Where are you? Are you passionate about God? Do you want to be?

This life is a figth.As believers we are fighters. We fight for our marriages, for our children, for our finances, for the lost and for the poor.We fight for our daily salvation…fighting for righteousness and against temptations and spiritual battles.All this fighting is for good. It’s a good fight of faith.We are pursuing godliness and peace in all of this. But the battle isn't over. It still wages harsh and deep into the night and in order to stand against the fiery darts of the enemy, we must have eyes to know and see the truth.Paul instructs Timothy saying, "Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected..." 1 Timothy 1:18-19.

This week I turn thirty...for the third time.It's been quite a year, to say the least.My little brother had a birthday a few days ago as well and he was sharing with me how good God is and how content and happy he was and it blessed me so much to hear him. He had his first child this year, a healthy sweet baby boy and God is so good ya'll.As I was reflecting on my own life this week I am at a place in my own life where I am in awe of God. Seriously, I am totally overwhelmed and in awe.In my life right now at thirty something I am in a very vulnerable place and I am loving it. I am desperate for more of my God, but not in despair as I have been in years past. I am full of joy and hope and many days I am on my face before God.I am definitely thriving in so many ways and it scares me, yet it also keeps me pressing into Him and for that I am so grateful.

In 1st Timothy, Paul urges Timothy that "petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people...that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness" (2:1-2 NIV).Setting a time of prayer aside during my day can be rather difficult. I struggle with waking up each morning earlier than my little people, one of whom asks daily as she peeks over the bed "Mama, is the sun awake?" And many times I start the day rushed, overwhelmed and behind. The breakfast, early cleaning routines and school mornings, despite their monotony, catch me by surprise every day and before I know it, the day is half done and my prayer time has lapsed.I find myself breathing out breath prayers throughout the day; many in desperation, others come as quick thoughts upon my heart and others in genuine intercession.From the "God help!" to the, :Lord I am about to lose it with this child, please pour your grace and patience…lots of patience!" Or it may be "father bless my friend wherever she is and in whatever she is doing since you brought her name into my heart." Or even, "Father pour our favor on my husband in this moment, wherever he is and with whom ever he deals with or talks to today."Breath prayers.

Breate in, breath out. Holy Spirit in. Me out.This has become my "go to" in life lately.For those times when life is all CRAZY and you are running and being pulled in all kinds of directions and you wish you could literallyBREATHE. IN. AND. OUT.Those days when you are looking for that one lost shoe and making sure all the homework is done and driving from one side of town to the other for football and dance and piano and church and go, go, go...Breath in, breathe out. Holy Spirit in, Me out.And then you have those days when you have tried to drink the coffee that you have desperately been needing since 6 o'clock in the morning when the toddler woke you up because she tee tee'd in her bed through her diaper and you change soaking wet pj's and sheets and put her beloved blanket in the wash and she screams because "da water id huwting it!!" and she keeps looking back at the closed laundry room door and asking, "id it weady?" And each time you say as sweetly as humanly possible at 6:30, "no, not yet," she starts screaming all over again and this charade continues every. two. minutes. And all you want is coffee. And Jesus. And Grace. And maybe a little more coffee. But you can't have that coffee because well, little people are screaming and you heat it up again. and then one more time.Breathe in, breathe out. Holy Spirit in, Me out.

I am blessed to be a third generation believer raising another generation of believers.My husband is also a third generation believer. Together our greatest desire is to raise another generation that is greater and stronger.[dt_gap height="10" /]My mother was raised by parents who were missionaries and church planters throughout central america and south Texas. Their love for Jesus, devotion and legacy continues in the lives of my mother, aunts, uncles, cousins and our children.My father’s father and mother came to know and serve Jesus a little later in life and my father and his sister began a real relationship with Jesus in their early twenties with faith to move mountains and a desire for more of Him. They committed their lives fully to Him from that day forward.My husbands family, refugees from Cuba during Castro's regime became believers later in life as well. It was the witness of one person, and the conversion of one family member that changed the course of the entire family…aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers….generations changed because one person said yes to Jesus.Generations saved.[

One of my dearest friends was on the platform and one sentence she said in her message changed my life.“Sometimes you have to do it scared.”Almost every time I have said yes to God I’ve had to do it scared.Scared of the “what if’s.”What if I’m wrong?What if I fail?What if I succeed?What if I totally mess everything up?What if this is more than I can handle?During my last two pregnancies I wasn’t a happy pregnant person.In fact, it was one of the most difficult times in my life.

If God is real, Then He will move in you, for you and through you.Last year I cried out to God to do something in my life. I was hopeless, passionless and for years moving in and our of the hills and valleys of depression.I was lost.God had called me to surrender everything. To stop with my formulas and my plans and my desires and give it all to Him.Surrender.And I was terrified.The phrase “What if” ruled my thoughts.I was a slave to “if.”What if I can’t do all you have called me to?What if I mess up?What if all of this is too hard?What if I fall on my face?What if I live my entire life restless, afraid and depressed?

About a year ago I sat in a friend’s living room and at the top of an index card I wrote “desires of my heart.” We were talking about delighting in the Lord and truly being in fellowship with Him. I don’t remember too much of the lesson, but we were suppose to write our calling and purpose and I had no idea what those were.At 15, I remember being at a youth convention and the speaker was talking about finding you calling and passions in life. I remember praying and asking the Lord to tell me what I was supposed to do with my life.That day, I heard Him speak to my spirit and I remember hearing very clearly, “write.”At 15, I didn’t know what writing would look like or what I would write, but it had always been a dream and passion.15 years later I sat in my dear friends’ home and on the card I write under callings: “To write…something? What?”