I sat at a conference unaware that I was about to be broken.I was pulled to go and pray with someone.I watched as others walked over for prayer. I knew I needed to get up, but I was scared.What was I going to say?I wasn’t even sure what I needed prayer for, but I needed something.I needed to be filled.To be emptied.To breathe.I needed restoration.

I am laying in bed next to my husband playing a game on my son's ipad. I could be doing 500 other things, but this is what I have chosen to do.I haven't written on this blog in over two weeks. I haven't written much of anything in over 2 weeks. Just some blurbs here and there that haven't evolved into anything worth saying mostly because I am so very tired and worn out. Seriously WORN OUT.For the past few weeks my husband has been sick. And it has taken it's toll on me mentally and physically.And I'm lonely.And I'm sad he is hurting so much.And I am tired.We put the kids to bed and he has just enough energy to do his routine and I come down and he is in bed, tired from the days work and the pain from the illness he is recovering from and he quickly falls asleep.I've spent my day playing with the kids, going on nature walks, planning our summer vacation, reading poetry, making meals and cleaning up.All of my energy has gone into being mom today. In the evening when my husband came home, honestly, I was annoyed with him. Annoyed before he even walked in the door. Not because he has done anything wrong, simply because I'm tired and overwhelmed and I have no one else to blame but either him or myself and I choose him.When those I love are sick or battling trials and hard times I get vulnerable. I get scared.

k, so we have all seen it. That, um, vivacious picture that spilled into every news feed last week. The one you weren’t looking for, but it happened to pop up EVERYWHERE.Yeah, that one.It was trending everywhere. Articles have been written about it and because of it. Great articles about what to tell your teens about these pictures and what women should take from this. And I love each of these articles and there is so much good and truth in them but, I’m gonna be honest with you…In my opinion…Kim Kardashian isn’t really much different from the rest of us.

If God is real, Then He will move in you, for you and through you.Last year I cried out to God to do something in my life. I was hopeless, passionless and for years moving in and our of the hills and valleys of depression.I was lost.God had called me to surrender everything. To stop with my formulas and my plans and my desires and give it all to Him.Surrender.And I was terrified.The phrase “What if” ruled my thoughts.I was a slave to “if.”What if I can’t do all you have called me to?What if I mess up?What if all of this is too hard?What if I fall on my face?What if I live my entire life restless, afraid and depressed?