Here’s where I’m at…many long, deep conversations with like minded friends usually begin with that statement.I’ve sat in small group, bible studies, Starbucks and across tables listening and sharing where God has me, what He has placed in my heart, my fears, my passions, where I am stuck and what I am trying to get my mind around.As believers we should be constantly going deeper, seeking righteousness, being made daily more and more like His image. There are definite seasons of life that are difficult, stormy, some are dry and others are joy filled. We should take time to share with each other “where we are at” in our walk and the seasons He has placed us in so that we can encourage and pray for each other.

I sat at a conference unaware that I was about to be broken.I was pulled to go and pray with someone.I watched as others walked over for prayer. I knew I needed to get up, but I was scared.What was I going to say?I wasn’t even sure what I needed prayer for, but I needed something.I needed to be filled.To be emptied.To breathe.I needed restoration.

Repentance begins in me.Those words have struck a chord in my heart for months now. I have chewed on them, cried out over them, searched and asked and wept.The things of this world, the ugliness and sin have left me broken and longing for Heaven. I couldn’t bear another worldly justification for sin, I couldn’t hear more hate filled words and lashings, I couldn’t watch one more abortion video.And then more…

Here's where I am: I'm thirsty. I'm hungry. I am so passionate about my God right now.I'm desperate. I need Him. I want to be consumed. I want to be filled and poured out and filled again and it's intense.I have never experienced such an intense desire for God like this.It's unquenchable and oh my God, I want to be parched.I want to be thirsty. I want to run this race gasping for more of Him, reaching for Him and desperate.I want to press in and keep going.Where are you? Are you passionate about God? Do you want to be?

This week I turn thirty...for the third time.It's been quite a year, to say the least.My little brother had a birthday a few days ago as well and he was sharing with me how good God is and how content and happy he was and it blessed me so much to hear him. He had his first child this year, a healthy sweet baby boy and God is so good ya'll.As I was reflecting on my own life this week I am at a place in my own life where I am in awe of God. Seriously, I am totally overwhelmed and in awe.In my life right now at thirty something I am in a very vulnerable place and I am loving it. I am desperate for more of my God, but not in despair as I have been in years past. I am full of joy and hope and many days I am on my face before God.I am definitely thriving in so many ways and it scares me, yet it also keeps me pressing into Him and for that I am so grateful.

Breate in, breath out. Holy Spirit in. Me out.This has become my "go to" in life lately.For those times when life is all CRAZY and you are running and being pulled in all kinds of directions and you wish you could literallyBREATHE. IN. AND. OUT.Those days when you are looking for that one lost shoe and making sure all the homework is done and driving from one side of town to the other for football and dance and piano and church and go, go, go...Breath in, breathe out. Holy Spirit in, Me out.And then you have those days when you have tried to drink the coffee that you have desperately been needing since 6 o'clock in the morning when the toddler woke you up because she tee tee'd in her bed through her diaper and you change soaking wet pj's and sheets and put her beloved blanket in the wash and she screams because "da water id huwting it!!" and she keeps looking back at the closed laundry room door and asking, "id it weady?" And each time you say as sweetly as humanly possible at 6:30, "no, not yet," she starts screaming all over again and this charade continues every. two. minutes. And all you want is coffee. And Jesus. And Grace. And maybe a little more coffee. But you can't have that coffee because well, little people are screaming and you heat it up again. and then one more time.Breathe in, breathe out. Holy Spirit in, Me out.

I am blessed to be a third generation believer raising another generation of believers.My husband is also a third generation believer. Together our greatest desire is to raise another generation that is greater and stronger.[dt_gap height="10" /]My mother was raised by parents who were missionaries and church planters throughout central america and south Texas. Their love for Jesus, devotion and legacy continues in the lives of my mother, aunts, uncles, cousins and our children.My father’s father and mother came to know and serve Jesus a little later in life and my father and his sister began a real relationship with Jesus in their early twenties with faith to move mountains and a desire for more of Him. They committed their lives fully to Him from that day forward.My husbands family, refugees from Cuba during Castro's regime became believers later in life as well. It was the witness of one person, and the conversion of one family member that changed the course of the entire family…aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers….generations changed because one person said yes to Jesus.Generations saved.[

One of my dearest friends was on the platform and one sentence she said in her message changed my life.“Sometimes you have to do it scared.”Almost every time I have said yes to God I’ve had to do it scared.Scared of the “what if’s.”What if I’m wrong?What if I fail?What if I succeed?What if I totally mess everything up?What if this is more than I can handle?During my last two pregnancies I wasn’t a happy pregnant person.In fact, it was one of the most difficult times in my life.