When Anxiety Rises, Only One Thing is Needed
It’s 4:30 a.m. The house is quiet. I roll out of bed and try to not wake up my husband. I turn on the shower, brush my teeth, pull my hair up in a bun so that it won’t get wet, step into the solace of the shower and let the water pour over me. I breathe in the steam and the scent of my almond milk soap.
I woke up with so much anxiousness today.
I woke up restless and fear was lurking in the dawn.
“Fear spews lies, fear overwhelms, fear wakes me before the dawn ready to control my day.”
I am reminded of Cain who before murdering his brother in a jealous rage, basically dismisses God’s warning when God says, “…sin is crouching at your door…” In my case it’s fear.
It’s a delicate dance. A choreographed fight. Fear crouches down, ready to engage and lunge toward me at every turn. Fear spews lies, fear overwhelms, fear wakes me before the dawn ready to control my day. God says to Cain, “It’s desperate to have you, but you must rule over it.” How do I respond? How do I rule over this uninvited guest?
I Pray.
My shower knows its purpose, we have met here many times before. I get clean, my muscles relax, Fear loosens its grip and the tiled floor becomes holy ground. I escape anxiety through prayer. I grasp Paul’s teaching to the Philippians about ‘being anxious for nothing, but in everything prayer.” Prayer to the one who knows me, loves me, hears me, is everything to me. Jesus’ words pour over me as his love abounds in truth: “Do not worry about your life…” Because the Father loves me, all of my life is in his hands for I surrender it daily and I know his hold is greater than fear.
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The God of all the universe delights in me. He loves me and dances over me in love. His steadfast, faithful love never fails.
I step out of the shower. Towel off, breathe. Mosturize, breathe. Get dressed, breathe.
“Remember Mary & Martha,” is whispered into my heart. I know these scriptures well. Mary chose what is best and it won’t be taken from her. What won’t be taken? I can’t remember the exactness of it. I grab my bible. The sun is starting to rise. I open the Gospel of Luke. I love these women. I relate to them.
I am them in many ways. Both Martha and Mary.
Martha, distracted, in control, desiring to please and do it all. Martha overwhelmed. Martha anxious. Martha frustrated.
I am Mary too. Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet. Mary reveling in his teachings. Mary teachable. Mary free.
My soul yearns for one, while my flesh falls to the other and it is a daily struggle.
“Only one thing is needed…”That is to sit at the feet of Jesus. The work gets done and somehow I must come back to my place at his feet. My place at his feet won’t be taken from me. Your place at his feet will not be taken from you.
If our place is at his feet, if we are encouraged to be in his presence, I can trust that all the worries, all the things, all the fears will submit to his will. No matter all the what if’s, what will be, or what will come, NOTHING will be taken from me that Jesus doesn’t already hold.
Take your place at his feet dear one, for only one thing is needed today and that is Jesus.
