Anxious Thoughts are No Longer Part of youR Story
I couldn’t breathe. I could feel panic setting in and I knew I wasn’t okay.
My mind began to race. I thought I was delivered from anxiety Lord! I thought you had saved me from these fears. I was so confused. I felt broken. Again.
It had been years since the darkness covered me in such a way. It had been years since the looming black cloud had made its way into my life.
I remember those days of darkness with trembling. I hate those days. Days of sitting on my bed in tears, unsure of my purpose, uncertain of my faith, completely undone.
In those days I mourned the days of my youth, free and full of fun and hope and a future. I mourned them because I didn’t know why else I felt the way I did. Now, I mourn the days that were stolen from me. I had lost myself in those days and waves of panic continually overtook me.
I was terrified of returning to those days.
I refused to go back there.
I refused to lose myself, my faith or my hope.
I refused to pick up the chains of slavery, when I had been set free and delivered.
I believed God had saved me and delivered me. I believed those days were of my past and He had a future planned full of hope and peace, not panic.
I couldn’t understand what had triggered my fears.
I wrestled with scriptures in the same way Jacob wrestled with God, continually whispering truths and breath prayers, refusing to let go of God until He blessed me. Until the fears and overwhelming emotions and looming, threatening cloud was removed from my presence.
A friend came to check on me, after a whisper of a text message that confessed, “I’m struggling today,” and she reminds me:
Suffering is a part of living.
Suffering is a part of our faith journey.
Suffering makes us dependent on Him.
I take a breath and remember that He keeps us Breathless; yeah, I’m still learning to exhale.
I sit outside under the porch and breathe again. My bible in hand, I lift my sword, ready to battle. I realized my panic was in part due to my past. I was not afraid of the battle, I was afraid of the place anxiety once had me in. The place of pain and pessimism. I was reminded in that moment that my hope was in Jesus and when the nails pierced His hands, my past and my pain was covered in His blood.
“The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still,” Exodus 14:14. Be Still, Beloved. The Lord fights for us. He is our shield. A shield that covers us completely and wraps around us so that we see nothing but His might; not see the enemy coming for us, not the pain of the past, not the looming, threatening cloud. We see nothing but our God, wielding His sword, with fire in His eyes, a consuming fire, fighting for His child.
The story He is writing in your life, beloved, is not one of fear and worry. The story He is writing is full of joy and peace. It is a story of His faithfulness. His faithfulness and power is part of your story.
He is writing a love story, the greatest love story ever told, of a Savior who rescues His beloved, takes her from a place of panic and pain and overwhelms her with love and peace.
30 Days of Scriptures, word Study & Devotional
Deepen you study of God’s word, abide in His promises and have peace.
Anxious thoughts are no longer a part of your story. His word of truth, the very scriptures He breathed onto the pages of His word are His love letter to you and in those red letters, throughout the prose, the poetry and the prophesies are words filled with passion.
Passion that led Him to think of you when He breathed His last and then breathed again.
His word is filled with scriptures of freedom and love. His word is filled with the truth of who you are and the story He is writing for you. His story calls you His beloved. His story says you have peace. His story whispers be still, for I am. I am all you need.
When the enemy shouts, when fear beats at your mind, when panic rises within you, when anxiety is bold and coming against you, Be Still. For in that stillness, God pulls you in close and the enemy is silenced, fear has no place in His arms, panic becomes peace and anxiety is no longer. God pulls you in close and He stills you and whispers with a smile, “I’ve already won.” Be still, Beloved.
