“I am so sorry but we decided to go another way…” is what the email read.

I had to take my daughter across town and I didn’t want her to see my cry. But that girl reads me so well.

“Mom, what’s wrong?”

“I didn’t get that job,” I replied.

“Oh mom, I am so sorry.”

She is quiet as we drive, empathizing and wondering all at the same time. We drive in silence through traffic as tears escape from my eyes despite my willingness for them to dry up. I drive and internally fight against rejection, battle for truth, and anger against God.

Then she wonders aloud, “It seems like things just aren’t going our way lately. Is there something wrong with us? Are we cursed or doing something wrong? It just seems like God isn’t on our side or something.”

I choke out a bitter laugh because I have had these same thoughts.

I find myself having to make lots of decisions.It’s that time of year, I suppose. Decisions have to be made such as which classes my children should take, curriculum choices, what activities should they pursue and all the things that surround those choices. It can be quite overwhelming and I get anxious and feel very inadequate for the tasks set before me.