This life is so inconsistent; one moment we are living on accolades and admirations and the next we are hiding within our own insecurities and guilt.Last week was a week of highs and lows for me.Certain things were working out better than I imagined.At the same time, I was a little overwhelmed and tired...and for me, sometimes when I get overwhelmed and tired my thoughts get fuzzy and that tiredness turns to weariness and the weariness turns to insecurity.One day I found myself filled with uncertainty; the next I was recognized for my works. That same day I fall face first into sin and shame as I fail to be gentle and loving to my children. The next day we rejoice in the peaceful and sweet day of learning and loving and the following day, I dishonor my husband and humbly ask for forgiveness.As I was praying over the crazy moments of the week that left me in both high and low places, I felt the Lord speak to me and say, "No matter where you are or what you are doing, I will keep you vulnerable."

I was frustrated and angry.Frustrated with the situation. Angry with myself.If I was better…things like this wouldn’t happen.If I was more…I was sneering at everyone who wasn’t helping.I was harsh with everyone who was.As I was frantically trying to find the lost, misplaced object I heard a little voice behind me:“Mommy maybe we can look for something else…”“No,” I said, hastily cutting her off, “we can’t. Just leave me alone, I don’t need your help so just get out of my way.”As soon as the words left my lips I felt the sting.I had struck. Hard.Immediately I saw the hurt look as she quickly turned and ran off.I didn’t call after her.I didn’t apologize.I kept looking for the lost item and sank within myself.I became the worst version of me.